i need someone who will be by my side.

" lonely. im mr lonely. i have nobardy for my own......"

i hate it when i feel like this. makes me want to cry. feelings all messed up. Do not even understand why i have to be here. or why God made my path so. or was it that i chose this path. did he have anything to do with it. screwed my head?

or why did he not let me finish my education path back home but to let me have this route. i cant understand why. somedays it tortures me so. somedays i feel proud about myself. but when i walk down the sidewalk alone. who is there to see me. this girl alone. by herself. who knows what is she thinking. how is she feeling. will she want to live to see the daylights of tmw.

pain is how i feel when i do my grocery. the music from my ipod goes into my ears, goes into me. my heart feels so much for it. every line and every word. but i cant seem not to have it when i walk out alone. becos u see, that is my only company. the only thing that speaks to me like a person.

times when i hear a certain song. the feelings just gets overwhelming. the seasons of change. the new and the old. love lost; unrequitted love. the love that u had but u gave away. the past that you long to have when u never knew it was good.

i just know that there is a certain junction here that always turns green when im crossing. and as i crossed it today, i said ' thank you mother mary'

and i always do. sometimes i even smile to myself.